Unfoiling the infallible outfit

Wednesday, December 02, 2015

Image via J Brand Jeans 
Image via WhoWhatWear

I've heard it a million times: a classic black blazer, skinny jeans, and a white tee is the chicest, coolest, most invincible outfit. Put it on and walk outside and you are instantly: Powerful, Sexy, Understated, Ageless. I've read about it in every fashion book on earth, heard the most visionary stylists proclaim it, seen the best dressed women on earth absolutely nail it. Yet no matter how many mornings I try on that exact combo, I inevitably tear it all off again and walk out the door in a floral, colorful, a-line get up - my hunch reaffirmed that I am the anti minimalist. 

I feel like a complete faker in that outfit. The blazer makes me feel like a robot, the skinny jeans are trying way too hard, and my white tee just looks exactly like what it is: my favorite worn out threadbare sleep shirt. My head appears tiny, my features somehow immature, and my hair either too flat or too frizzy, depending on the day. My small waist is swallowed and my wide hips become front and center, right where the blazer hem and the denim intersect. I never fucking know what shoes to pick so I spend at least 10 minutes trying on all of them: heeled sandals? Booties? Pumps? Kicks? All are awful. 

I'm sorry to report that the foolproof equation has found its fool. I just can't make it work.

However, I refuse to accept that on the occasional day I can't pull off understated, sexy, rumpled chic - so here's what I am doing:

Turn the black blazer into a black miniskirt, tights, and booties. 

Turn the skinny jeans into my favorite perfectly worn denim jacket. 

And keep the threadbare tee because I love it, damnit. 

Denim jacket: Pilcro | Tee: Pure + Good | Skirt: Madewell | Tights: Hue | Booties: thrifted
Bracelet: Anthropologie | Rings: Banana Republic, thrifted, vintage 

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