I hate letting go. And I am terrible at it.
Call it a fatal flaw, call it endearing, call it embarrassing, call it overly sentimental. All are fair.
I watched my parent's VHS of An American in Paris so many times it wore out. I still have pieces of sea glass found on beaches in the Gulf of Mexico when I was a kid. I keep jewelry I know I'll never wear (even some jewelry that I hate), just because of happy associations in my memory. It took me just shy of a decade to get over the first man I loved. Two years after moving away, I still struggle to let go of Chicago and all the love I felt for it. I just got rid of my gym shoes from college a couple months ago (though this is likely the symptom of a separate issue: my total lack of interest in anything athletic).
All of this is to say one major thing: I'm thinking about quitting this blog.
Not quitting blogging altogether - but leaving SWIILPT to find myself a larger, more modern, more honest space that I can build again from the ground up. It's scary because of all the work and effort I have on SWIILPT, but I'm fully aware that it's only me that is attached to the history of it. At the end of the day, though, I'm not who I was six years ago when this blog began, and the idea of starting again with a clean slate and no baggage makes me excited. Terrified, but so excited. I'm ready for a completely clean slate, for new mistakes, for new successes, for new chances.
Just what's on my mind. Here's the music that fits.
(This playlist is great motivation for letting go of anything: bad energy, frustrating feelings, self doubt.)